Monday, November 07, 2005

Why do flies fly towards a light, so they strive to touch the sun during the day? They only live for something like 24hours, you’d think they would have better things to do in such a short lifespan. I Wonder what they think when they flutter determinedly towards the light.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

What is this energy, this feeling, this connection called ‘love’? I mean so many people cry out for it, believe in it, fear it, trust it, live for it or search for it, but why?
Is it more than what I think? – Your brain making chemical connections in it’s infinitely contained space (but then again I’m no rocket scientist).
But when somebody says ‘I love you’ how do you know they mean it or understand it the same why as you? When the words hit the other person’s ear, goes through a complex memory of love or lack of love through their own life. This may construct an entirely different outlook on the word.
I write this from my own personal thoughts. I do hunger for this magical and possibly mythical sensation. But maybe even if I had it I probably wouldn’t know and loose it. For the past two years I’ve been feeling increasingly lonely for no specific reason, maybe I don’t want to let these emotions run free in fear of getting hurt. I start to think is it better to have loved and hurted than to have not loved and not hurted anyone?


Gonna finish with a quote for the Sheryl Crow’s song; ‘good is good’ (cheesy I know)

“Love’s on my list of things to do”

Thursday, October 27, 2005

so, I now have a blogg. Goodness what do i talk about?

I recently went to a gay group in Inverness to find out more about the gay community.
(Better get some background knowledge on the whole sexuality thing; four years i've been confused about what I am, then I figured that it doesn't matter what sex you "fall in love with" as long as you "love" them).
Anyway I decided to pop in for a few minuets before going to a friends birthday party, to see what it was like and to be able to get out if things got..you know. So there I was entering the bar where "gay-ness" was meeting in my femme suit, heels and make-up.At the back of the bar i could see around 15+ women there all over 30, all in similar outfits; baggy jeans, boots, shoet hair and a tank top or two, if not it was loose fitting t-shirts.
It just got me to think that sexuality takes over who the individual is, the stereotyping is unavoidable once in that state of mind. Don't you think?